Vent!!

Tee
Venting session in 3...2...1....GO! I'm  sick of this shit! Excuse my language, but this is really getting annoying!!! To cure my POAS obsession I went to the Walmart and grabbed 5 pregnancy tests. The only reason I grabbed 5 is bc they were all $.88 and I couldn't bear that. So I get hm...take one of the tests...and this happens (below). I just want to give up! Who knew conceiving a child would be so damn hard! It's like if I could just forget that il a woman all together and ignore the fact that I'm supposed to have monthly cycles, I would be ok.  Since my myomectomy my body has been off and I've been very irregular, even missed an entire period a couple of months ago. According to glow and other apps, I'm 9 days late, but no symptoms of anything anywhere around. No AF or early preg symptoms. I feel like it's too late. Maybe my uterus is too scarred from my surgery. Maybe it's a wrap for me. Maybe it's just not in the cards for me. Am I trying with the right person? Should I continue to wait? And get emotional every month trying??  It's so bad now that I'm getting to the point of not even wanting to have sex anymore.  I don't enjoy it. Not bc of him of course, bc he is AWESOME! (TMI). Just that We really want one and its just a BFN month after month. I'm starting to question EVERYTHING and I know I shouldn't. *sigh* I'm just so sick of this. I am so. Freaking. Sick. Of. This!!!!