What is going on?

How do you know if your brain is okay. I feel like i might have

depression/anxiety or am bipolar or something, i don't know. Sometimes i feel fine and feel like i matter and then there are times i feel like i am all alone and no one care at all. Even though they tell me they care. I feel like this is hurting my marriage ( pushing my husband away so as not to bother him. But it hurts him that i push him away). My husband doesn't know how to help me and i don't know what is wrong. I feel numb and just want to stay in bed in the dark. I can still work but i find no joy in anything. Not even my husband or dog can cheer me up. I fight headaches during this time and i can't feel touch. It's like my body is numb. I mentally desire my husband emotionally and sexually but my mind tells me i am too ugly and dumb for him to want me. ( he has NEVER done anything to make me think that) Does anyone know what i am experiencing or have any helpful hints. I can't afford therapy or much for doctors. We are barely affording to live even though we both work full time.

I have chronic lyme disease so i don't know if that is causing this. Doctors are literally NO help with chronic lyme disease. Half say it's not a thing but then other docs say it is but they don't know much about it due to never limited/no research on it.