I was at the supermarket yesterday going about my Sunday routine. Milk, bread and my grocery list. I felt a sharp pinch cramp like pain. At the same moment I felt a gush (gross explaination I know) of blood. I rushed to their restroom hoping I'd maybe only embarrassed myself with pee. But I did not. I was horrified. Have been pregnant before I'd never seen so much blood. But have felt that kind of pain...it was like being in labor!  I rushed my daughter home and rushed off to the emergency room. Doctors office is closed on Sundays.  I was whisked to the triage room. Asked the usual questions. I was then put in an exam room. Immediately I gave a urine sample and they took ten vials of blood. They then put in an IV. They did a pelvic exam and sent me off to ultrasound. They wouldn't let me see the screen. I have never had this issue ever. I was terrified for my little blip. When the dr came in later he told me that she was gone. I miss carried our baby and now I have a hole on my heart. And I feel every physical and not physical pain from this. I'll never get to meet her. Never get to hold her little hands or kiss her tiny toes. Never get to enjoy her laughter or comfort her when she cries. I will never get to watch my husband hold her and have his love and wonder in his eyes. As a mother I used to feel like I failed having had to have my other children via csection. But this tops that feeling and no words can true describe how it feels. I guess our little angel just forgot her halo and went back up to heaven to find it. Forever she will be in our hearts. I love you little blip and I always will.