My labor and delivery has me wishing time away.

I've come to realize that I have hated these past few months (daughter is 9 weeks) Because of how brutal my labor and delivery was. I was in labor for 22 hours and pushed for 5 & 1/2 hours with my baby inevitably being delivered via suction. Nothing about the process was natural... Everything was chemically induced. My epidural stopped working during transition and the 2nd one never worked. To top it off I had a complete tear. Needless to say, it was HORRIBLE. So because of how awful it was, I had horrible depression and anxiety (I've never had any kind of depression etc) the entire first few months of her life. Even still when I look back I get anxious. It's completely scared me from having a 2nd child.

I truly hope I look back on the experience someday and think about how amazing it was when I had my baby.... because I feel robbed.