I left

Months ago. We just weren't close anymore. I love him because I spent almost 5 years of my life with him but I'm not in love if that makes sense. Once I lose that for someone I can't get that back. I feel like I gave him chances and nothing ever changed.

I'm missing what was. He was my best friend. But in the end it just all fell apart. I felt more like a mother having to do his laundry, remind him to shower, etc than I felt like a partner. I've been better since I left. I still get sad though. I've never been alone before and it's different. He's been texting me saying he misses me and us and wants me to come home but I just don't think I can. I know I can't. It would be a lie to both of us. I know my feelings aren't there and more than likely never will be again. I don't want to put myself back in a miserable situation.

I don't feel bad for leaving. I don't feel bad for not missing him but people say I should. He got a new job - I should be proud of him. He wants to make it work- I should give him a chance.

But I just can't do it.

Am I wrong for not feeling bad? I just feel like I moved on emotionally a long time ago and it's just not something that can be repaired