Freaking out, Please help!!!!!!

Really quick back story

Me and my bf have been together for 3 years, we currently live together. We have a group of friends so sometimes us gfs (his guy friends gf) all go out for girls night. Since all of our partners are each other bff we don’t do anything besides have girls night.

Now my bf does the same with his bff and they all have guys night. This has never been a issue.

We’ve been doing this since we got together and we’re both okay with it.

Now one of his bff has cheated on his gf but they stayed together.

This weekend the guys took a guys trip and my bf came back home and told me he cheated on me. The guy who cheated on his gf before had brought two girls home and he doesn’t remember hooking up with one of them but his friend told him he did and to not tell me.

He does recall talking to this female but claims he blacked out and doesn’t remember much but he did wake up next to her.

My heart broke in a million pieces, we never had trust issues. He’s never gave me a reason to not trust him, we were that couple that trusted every word. He was crying saying he was so sorry and doesn’t recall any of it.

Monday he couldn’t even look at me and Tuesday he finally told me. I immediately started throwing up, I felt so disgusted. I immediately left with my daughter (previous relationship) and I changed my number. I want NOTHING to do with him, no closure. NOTHING.

I want him dead from my life. Like completely shut him out, some family members are telling me I’m going about this the wrong way that I’m going to need my closure.

I’m sorry ladies I just need to vent