I had my baby 3 weeks ago. It's been so hard for me to adjust. It was just myself and my husband for 4 years. My pregnancy wasn't planned, I was on the pill and got pregnant. I love my baby, I know I do, but late at night when he's up and crying, these ugly thoughts of harming him come into my head. Shaking him, slapping him. I feel fucking terrible for thinking these things and it makes it hard for me to feel connected to my baby. I felt an instant bond when he was born, but this past week these thoughts have been coming into my head and I don't know how to stop it. I know it's not his fault, he's tired too. I know I wouldn't actually do anything to harm him, but the thoughts still come. Is this a form of PPD? I can't help but feel like such a shitty mother and I just want to care for him as best as possible but the thoughts kill me. Really not looking for judgment, just support or words of advice. I don't know what to do, I just want to be a good mom for my son and I feel incapable of doing so.