Just to give some background—So my dad and I have never had a good relationship. Growing up he was either at work or he was drunk. He was married to an awful woman who abused me emotionally, mentally and sometimes even physically for 10+ years. My family never believed me when I told them all the things she had to done to me. My dad knew, but he just never took my side on it. My mom was the only one to support me.

Finally when I was a freshman in high school my dad filed for divorce. Then almost immediately he started dating this other awful woman (she had 2 small children of her own) and all she wanted was to shove my sister and I out of the picture so her kids and her could have the “perfect family” with my dad. By this time I was old enough to realize it and stood up for myself and my sister. Again my dad took his gfs side, they got married and I didn’t talk to my dad for 2 years until he divorced her.

He ended up getting sober and we started patching up our relationship....and then he started talking to another woman. But this woman was so much different than his first 2 wives. I really like her. She is incredibly kind, she is religious, she has 3 small children but most importantly she supports my dads sobriety. They ended up getting married after about a year of dating. I was happy he was happy but a little sad that once again his attention was more on his new wife and her kids rather than trying to fix our relationship.

But also by this time I was 21, I had a bf of 3 years and had started my own life. My bf and I liked to go out and party and my dad didn’t approve of our lifestyle because of the drinking. I got jealous for awhile because he was the perfect dad to her kids and I never got that.

My bf and I got married and again my dad made no real effort to be in our lives...until I had my 2 kids. My stepmom is amazing and she loves visiting with me and watching the kids for me, but my dad is super awkward around me still.

Soooo now to the question part—

Last week I stopped by their house to visit and my stepmoms aunt decided to visit. This was the first time I was meeting this lady and she looked at me and said “Hi, I guess I don’t know who you are.” I politely said, “I’m Teds* daughter” and she responded with, “Oh!! You must be Brittany*!” (Brittany* is my younger sister) I said, “um no, im Jessica*. Teds* oldest daughter”

Aaaaand then she said, “oh, I didn’t know you had an older daughter Ted*.” 😑

My dad was standing by me the entire conversation and didn’t say a word. All he did was change the topic of the conversation and made me feel awkward af...

anyway I’m just curious if I’m right for feeling hurt. We don’t have a father/daughter relationship, I’m busy with my own family, he’s busy with his family....is it even worth mentioning or how on earth would you even bring it up. We don’t talk about feelings and the only reason I still even talk to him is because I believe my children deserve to know who their grandpa is.

I’ve just considered myself the black sheep of the family because they are all very very religious and I am not like that. I like to have fun on my own time and I cuss like a sailor which is a big no no to them. So it’s really hard for me to be myself around them especially when talking to them about how I feel.

I have my husbands family and my mom who I can be myself around but a part of me doesn’t want to give up on my dads side. But after that whole conversations, it just hurts that I’m not even worth mentioning to my stepmoms extended family members. Guess I just need opinions or sometime. I don’t even know what u need.

*random made up names so I can stay anonymous