Why are we fighting?

Question

We've been married two weeks.. TWO..
We were so good, so happy until we got married.
We've been together 8 years. Normal arguing, but happy.
Now we bicker over the smallest things..
It's mostly me with my depression and anxiety but I can't stop pushing him away. I ignore him, yell at him.. I don't want too but it's hard to stop.

Answer

Therapy. Not couples, but for you. You dont get to take your insecurities out on your partner. They are not his issues, but yours. It is good you recognize your moods, but you are the only one who can address them

Answer

Did you live together before you got married?  Sometimes moving in together for the first time is really stressful

Answer

I feel like I wrote this...
Message me if you want to talk.

Answer

Depression and anxiety are real, complex issues that need professional help. Try seeing a psychiatrist and/or psychologist and see if anything improves.

Answer

You need to do therapy alone before you consider couples therapy because you need to find out why you are the way you are, why you react the way you react. Basically just finding out what makes you tick, how to prevent it if possible and how to deal with it healthfully will make a HUGE difference. Therapy changed my life. I was depressed from 9 years old to 17/18 soooo bad. I still suffer with it, but I am able to recognize when I am getting into a bad mad & either allow myself to take some time alone or openly communicate with my partner that I am upset and just need some extra TLC. Admitting you have a problem is the first step! Although, he does have to be willing to cooperate.

Answer

Between my husband and myself we had expectations of each other once we got married. We didn’t even realize it at first but both felt the pressure that the other was putting on the other. Now we got married and we think that all of a sudden the other person has to do this or that. Not true. Even though I no longer have expectations for my husband he will still get defensive if he thinks I do....not sure if this will help but I hope it does.

Answer

This happened to us too! I think it was mostly me, and that I expected things to change and to instantly be happier because I was married, and it was a brutal shock that not all my/our problems went away.
Also, post-wedding-blues is a real thing. I used to scoff at that like “oh poor spoiled brides” but seriously, spending months or years or however long planning one day, then having the best day of your life, and then going back to reality can be DEPRESSING. It’s like an emotional sugar crash, that’s how I described it!
It’ll pass, I promise. We’re at 4 months now and doing just great :)

Why are we fighting?

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