26 ttc 4 and a half years

I had pid (pelvic inflammatory dosease) when I was 22 when my son was just 1 since I have been ttc and finally started ovulating but today I feel like I should just give up I hot my period spot turn up ::( I'm not due af til the 26th but I just know. I don't know what to do with myself I feel lost and just want to crawl and hid in a ball and cry from the world . I was so young when u became a mother at 17 after being told I couldn't have children due to cancer I had my daughter. .. 4 years later my son it's nearly 5 yr on and I haven't been successfull I'm taking it out on my partner please helo if anyone understands ? X