For 8 years I've been TTC. That is how long my husband and I have been married. I turn 28 in less than two weeks. My husband turned 28 in July. We are f****** 28!!

A month ago they removed cancer from his tongue and neck. Now they want us to do radiation and chemo. So guess what? If we do decide to do that, which we haven't yet because he'd have all his teeth removed and chemo and radiation killed his dad from the exact same cancer in the exact same spot.

But I will never be a mom. And I have to put this somewhere because if I say it out loud or to anyone then I'm selfish because I should be more worried about my husband having cancer. And I am. But this was my lifelong dream, the one thing I've always wanted more than anything else in the world. To be able to carry my own child. But now that will never happen. And I am not allowed to be sad about it.