Here I sit at all most midnight crying over everything that I’ve been through in my life. At just 14 years old I found out I was pregnant while I was on birth control. I took it religious and like my doctor had instructed me to, but it failed. My first reaction was how was I possibly going to care for a child. I told my mom first and she didn’t belittle me or yell or anything. All she said was "it’s going to be ok. I still love you and no matter what you choose I’ll still be here to support you." I told the father, who I had been dating for 6 months. He told me he would be there for me and the baby, no matter what. As the months passed I grew more and more excited to meet my baby. I was having a boy. On September 29 at 1:31pm my beautiful baby boy names Aiden was born. In that moment I truly understood love at first sight. As the weeks went on his father became distant, I figured it was because of everything going on. He didn’t help at all, I was doing everything. I dropped out of school to stay home and care for my son. After my son first birthday things started to get better, but I still had no help from his father. Thank God for my momma and sister. Two months before Aiden’s second birthday his father started to become distant again. He was spending every weekend night gone till well passed midnight. He claimed he was spending time with his brothers. I was so blinded and naive. I should have left him then. Exactly 1 week before Aiden’s second birthday I found out I was pregnant again. My Depo had failed. I had never missed an appointment, and I couldn’t believe this was happening. The worst thing was I found out their father was cheating on me. He had given me chlamydia. When I told their father I was pregnant and confronted him about the std he admitted it all. He had been cheating for months, and his whole family knew. He told I needed to get an abortion. The girl he was seeing didn’t even know we was together, how was he going to explain to her that I was pregnant. I couldn’t believe him. We had been dating for almost 3 years and he was going to just throw away everything. Everything i did for him. I had cut ties with all of my friends for him, dropped out of school for him and financially supported him the entire relationship. I left him. On Aiden’s second birthday he brought her along with him. My son was so confused, and it broke my heart. After that he just stopped coming around, he might have visited Aiden 3 times my whole pregnancy. I was heartbroken seeing my son so devastated over his father. I felt like some how it was all my fault. On June 30 I gave birth to a baby girl named Riley. Their father didn’t even come till the day after she was born. Aiden however was so excited to be a big brother. At home he was such a big help, helping away he could. When Riley was 6 months old I started dating again. I had found this wonderful guy who loved my kids like his own. He didn’t have much of a family. His dad was never really in his life because of drugs and he hadn’t talked to his mother in years due to his step father (long story). Despite all of that he wasn’t anything like he rest of his family. Not long after Riley’s second birthday I had to have my IUD removed (it was causing me to many problems) not long after that I found out I was pregnant with my 3rd (yes I know how babies are made and yes I was on the pill too). I was shocked, but this time would be different. I guess I was wrong. When I was 14 weeks along he started to change. He was hiding things and his attitude changed. I didn’t know who he was anymore. At 15 weeks we broke up, no long after I found he was arrested and in jail for drugs. So here i sit 19 years old with a 5 year old, a 2 year old, and 20 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. My 5 year old and 2 year olds father hasn’t seen them in months, since March actually. I also haven’t heard from the father of the baby I’m carrying in weeks. I don’t know if he is even out of jail or what. Both fathers know how to get up with me and I am in no way of keeping them from their kids. I guess I just needed to vent.