Pregnant again saddens me because I feel numb to this pregnancy...

After loosing my twins I just can’t stop thinking what could have been with them. I grown attached and loved the idea that I was pregnant even before finding out they were twins. I would look at cribs, car seats, baby clothing...I just loved that my body was going through changes because I was making a new life inside me. A life that had a part of myself and the person I loved so much. After loosing them my bf and weren’t as before. I feel like it changed me as a person and the way I look at him. The way he handled my pain my grief & I almost felt as if he was kinda blamed me. But I know we went through something but it affected me the most. Waking up 2 nights after the d&c in pain because i was bleeding clots for hours and having breast milk come out for weeks after. It all hurt me emotionally. Anyways I’m pregnant again but somehow I’m not filled with excitement, I’m not scared, nervous or mad. I just feel numb. I want to get out of this numbness I have.

So ladies do you guys have any suggestions?