Please Read, Anything Helps

I don’t know where else to put this other than here. I need help from people that I don’t know, because I don’t want personal family or friends asking me what’s wrong all the time. I’m 19 years old. I constantly feel depressed. My family is crazy as fuck. I just want to move out. My dad has never really been there. I talk to him sometimes, it’s always broken promises with him. I was in a mentally and verbally abusive relationship from eighth grade until junior year in high school. I wasn’t allowed to do anything. No friends, no nothing. I was being controlled and hidden away from everything. Lost a lot of friends, which I still haven’t really made back. I am a full time student, I work full time, pay for all of my things. I’ve been in a new relationship for about two and a half years now, with the most amazing guy I’ve ever met. We literally never argue about anything, it’s been so awesome, and I really want to marry this guy one day. But I think my previous relationship really fucked up my head because I’ve been with my boyfriend now for so long and I still constantly overthink to the point that something is always wrong in my head, even though we’re fine. I feel like shit. I’ve gained weight. My acne is bad again. I’m just depressed. My SO doesn’t really understand it, and I don’t want to put that pressure on him. He helps me and makes me feel better, but no one truly understands how I’m feeling, and ir sucks. I want to have my own business, but I don’t know how to get started. I don’t know what I’m going to do with my life as far as a career goes. I’ve never drank or taken drugs, but feeling like this makes me want to do something to take the pain away. I’m fine on the outside but I’m so upset in my head and all I can do is cry and go to sleep, and just hope that my brain will not be fucking stupid the next day, even though it usually is. I don’t have money for a therapist, I just don’t know what to do. If you’ve read all the way to this part, thank you, and please give me any advice. I would happily take it and try to use it. I’m desperate for some help.