Grief

Sometimes it's hard being a single parent. Not in the way that most people would expect though. It's hard to know that the person you procreated with wants nothing to do with the beautiful soul you know. Your job is to make sure that they know how loved they are but now there are limits put in place. And you have to be honest about things because lying to them isn't right. The weight a single parent bears is almost too much sometimes. Rather than being mad for myself, my heart broke yesterday for my baby. I know it's a breakthrough in my grief but I don't like it. I just want him to know that even if one person doesn't want to be in his life, so many others do. But only he can formulate that conclusion and I can't make that choice for him. Sometimes I wish I could hide him from all of that. Pretend that I made the choice to have him on my own from the beginning. But that's just running from my responsibility as his mom.