someone help !

so when this guy i have a thing with comes over we usually cuddle and that leads to him fingering me but i’m not sure what to do while he does that... should i reach for his dick ? we don’t kiss or anything which all my friends seem to think is super weird but i’m a very submissive person ig so i dont like to initiate things. ive never actually given a hj or bj cause i get nervous that i’ll mess up but i really wanna try.. if anyone has any tips help me out 😂