Numb to the cheating, how do I process it?

So I found out a couple of weeks ago that my husband had an affair. It was over a couple of months, and ended a couple of months before our wedding. It was with someone he worked with who was younger than me and I found out through her boyfriend. What has shocked me the most is that I never in a million years would have considered him doing it. He is a huge introvert, hates interacting with people and just generally would never (normally) get himself into this sort of situation.

Now, I want us to try and work through this because I feel like regardless of whether we stay together or not I need to know I’ve given it the best chance it could have. So please I’m looking for help not “just leave his cheating ass” commentary.

When I first found out I was a mix of upset and numb. We have been for two counselling sessions. However I don’t feel like I’m actually processing what has happened to me. I’m not spending hours thinking about it, I haven’t done any crazy confrontations or stolen his phone to go through. I don’t know if that’s because I am having trouble connecting the act to the person I’ve been with for so long, if this is me internally shutting off and distancing myself from him or because I am just pushing all my emotions down and not pushing the matter because my husband is an intense introvert and has really struggled to vocalize the situation.

Anyway, the therapist basically said I’m not processing it and I need to work through it and experience the highs and lows, ask the questions I need to get closure and embrace the feelings I’m going to be feeling for us to be able to move forward.

So my question is; what can I do to get these feelings appear? How can I start to make myself think about this so I can work through it? Has anyone got any hints or tips for how I begin to process this myself?

Send help!