TTC & step mamma probs

My boyfriends daughter is 13yrs old & she’s also an only child.

Growing up I was not an only child & neither was my boyfriend. I have an older brother & 2 older cousins that grew up with us, just like our brothers. & my boyfriend has a younger sister.

Now.. if you’re an only child reading this I’m sorry, but only child syndrome is DEFINITELY a thing! Some only children have it & some dont. It’s just like the Napoleon complex 😂 some little men have it & some don’t lol.

Now.. at 13, I knew what value was. Actually I feel like I discovered what value was at much younger age than 13, but that’s besides the point. I knew the things that I valued & loved needed to stay with me at all times or kept away in a good safe place. My boyfriends daughter? I swear she values NOTHING & the reason I brought only child into this, is because I’ve come across multiple only children. As friends.. coworkers, associates. & found that a lot of them were just.. very much entitled & just didn’t value other people’s things along with their own.

She had been “stolen” from twice in the past WEEK. & this is why i say “stolen”: On monday she left her smart watch out on a desk at school & walked away. Of course someone less fortunate came by & took them. & on Friday.. she brought a toy to school. She left the toy out, went to lunch, came back & well.. what do ya know? Gone.

To me? Personally? That isn’t being stolen from. That’s being irresponsible. Being stolen from is more of like.. if her toy was in her book bag & someone went into her book bag & took it. Leaving something out? Hey that’s fair game! It’s like finding a $5 bill on ground outside... it’s my lucky day! That was someone else’s $5 but they were irresponsible enough to have let it fall out of their wallet so now.. its mine! But of course my boyfriend didn’t explain this to her. He just gave her the sympathy & said “people shouldn’t take things that aren’t there’s” (which they shouldn’t lol) & felt bad for her.

We obviously have different views on things & that’s perfectly okay. But this situation really bothered me because she didn’t learn her lesson because it happened twice! She didn’t have value of her smart watch or her toy & now they’re both gone! & now? She wants them replaced! We’re trying for OUR first baby & I found myself thinking.. I don’t want my child being raised this way! I feel like this situation is definitely only child syndrome!!!

& ladies... please don’t say “well you shouldn’t be trying to have a baby with someone if you don’t agree with their parenting skills” because do you agree with how your spouse handles hard situations with your child all the time?

Im young.. I’m 22 with very old school parents.. therefore I am very old school lol. How him & his ex wife discipline their child is not exactly how i want to raise mine. I’m looking for more of what you would do in this situation & being a step parent. I don’t want my child thinking that they can just leave important things around & their be no consequences & if they get taken.. that they should be replaced.. but I also don’t want to say “I don’t want my child raised like your child”