I’m afraid . .

To give my 9m son big pieces of food because he is so rough I feel he will shove it all in his mouth , I try to feed him solids through out the day but not as much as I’ve seen other moms do on YouTube ,, my mom always gets on to me that I am not feeding him enough foods and he should be eating more which I agree but she tries to give him big cookies and it freaks me out , I’ve had to take him to hospital for choking on milk and flem when he was sick at 4m and stopped breathing a couple times so I am paranoid it will happen and I’m alone again ... am I wrong ?