HE HAS BABY FEVER 👶🏻✨

Y'all. This is so damn cute i can't even.

I've been on this app for a few hours and you know. Baby here baby there, babies everywhere!

Well I'm showing him a cute video of a.... Baby. Lol. He says something along the lines of "you and your baby fever". So I say "I don't have baby fever." I repeat myself a moment later after I pause the video thinking he didn't hear me.

He says "you dont have to repeat yourself"

And I go to say "I'm not I just wanted to make sure you know and he shushes me." So like any woman I tell him "don't shush me. I don't and I'm making it clear."

He says "well what if I do" 🙈

so I say "do you" and he's on and on "what if I do" and I say "ahw does Mister ___ have baby fever" he says "I didn't say that"

So at this point I'm just like "ahw you do your so cute look at your cute face getting all red"☺💋

I spent plenty of time picking at him telling him how adorable he was.

I just had to share because it's just fucking adorable. His cheeks were so red and he couldn't hold his smile in. It was adorable y'all.

He says he's not calling it baby fever though. It's called he just thinks babies are cuter than they usually are. 🤣🤣

We had a miscarriage in April so I think that's why it's so sweet and adorable to me. I never in a million years thought he would have actual baby fever just that at some point we would decide to try. But he has actual baby fever and it's fucking adorable. I love it. Too cute. 😍💎

I've had baby fever and he wasn't there yet, so I had to tell myself I didn't want it. And I've been good at that the past few months. But now that he's told me he's been thinking about it the last few weeks, it's making me think about it again. And I do still want it. I still have that baby fever that I've been trying to convince myself I didn't have.

Knowing he's there right now, I wonder if I can be there again. But I don't want to let myself think it and feel it because I really want it. I'm hesitant because I don't want that feeling of I want it but can't have it. I want it but he doesn't.

He's been rubbing my belly more the past few weeks. And I've noticed it. He's been saying "you like it when i rub your tummy" and I'd smile and go "yeahhhh". But just didn't let myself question why he was doing it more suddenly. And just let my mind settle on he was just because he knew I liked it.

But now knowing he's been thinking about it the past few weeks, his baby fever, when he rubs my belly now i wonder if he's thinking about that, if that's why he's doing it more.

My period just ended. And i know ovulation is estimated the 21st (I track and monitor temp and look for eggwhite and temp spike because I'm not on birth control so we could avoid it. And I only have eggwhite the day I ovulate. So we could have safe sex without condoms after my ovulation day until my period and use condoms until after i ovulate again) but now I'm all in my head wondering what his actions will be this month. He knows when I'm estimated. He knows i just finished my period and it's not our safe time. He always makes sure to use condoms. He's hard pressed not to after I ovulate and we're safe.

Last month at ovulation, I told him i had ovulated and we'd be clear in two days since the egg only survives so long. And he would still use condoms because he didn't trust it. He thinks I can get pregnant at any time and doesn't understand once the egg is gone it's gone until next month. Lol.

So. He's got me wondering what his actions will be this month. If he's been thinking about it, does that mean maybe we'll try? Or will he still grab a condom like always?

I've tried so hard not to think about it, to want it. But now he's told me he has been thinking about it, I'm just like "Yes please. Let's have a baby." But I'm going to hate that feeling when I'm ovulating and he grabs a condom. Because it won't happen. And I've wanted it for so long. My due date from our miscarriage is November 25. And i wish more than anything I was still pregnant and hadnt lost our baby.

Y'all. 😭 Its so bad. Why did he have to tell me he's been thinking about it? Because now I can't stop. I want it. 😭