Should I lie?

Question

Its gonna sound sneaky... but my gender ultrasound is in 9 days. With my past 3 pregnancies: we told the tech we didn't want to know sex during ultrasound and to put the potty shot with gender in an envelope so we could find out during our gender parties...
Well my firstborn was a girl, with my ex. She ended up being a stillborn at 38 weeks. But we still waited until gender reveal to find out the sex. 
With my husband I've had two boys. And we found out the sex at gender reveals. With my second son I played it cool until we got home & I burst into tears with gender disappointment. 
I know not everyone believes in gender disappointment but I have always wanted a girl. And my husband was so offended that I was so upset about our second boy not being a girl... that I'm scared that if I have the same reaction it's going to really upset him again. 
I obviously got over it. I ugly cried for two days then gave in and started boy shopping. I don't treat him any differently or negatively. With this being our last child.... my question is this.
Would it be awful if I had the tech tell me but act like I didn't know when we find out at gender reveal? I feel guilty for wanting a heads up this time but I feel like at least I'll be able to privately mourn the fact that I'll never have another girl if it's another boy. I can make peace with it before gender reveal and not hurt my husbands feelings again? I feel like its such a huge lie to hold and I honestly would feel such guilt. I don't know ladies... what do you think?

Answer

I would find out ahead of time in that situation.  Good luck mama xx

Answer

Yes it's a lie and it's wrong. You should not deceive your husband, and it's not healthy in a relationship when you can't be open and honest about something heavy you're feeling, or for him to not respect your feelings. 
Don't do a gender reveal. Find out at the drs office. Or just do it at home the 2 of you and then announce to friends and family.  You don't need to put on a show for others. Be yourself and be authentic. If your next baby is a boy, you don't need to be swallowing tears in front of everyone and crying by yourself. That's so awful for you to go through. We just found out on our own.

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It sound like it may be best to not have a gender reveal. Find out with your husband at the ultrasound instead.

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I can see why u would want to find out early and I don’t blame u. Have u told him any of this? Maybe let him in on the fact that u want to find out and it can still be a surprise to everyone else.

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Tell your husband your worry. Be honest and both find out together. If you want a party, just pretend it’s the first time you’re finding out.

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You should update this when you find out! I wanna know.

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Go for it. It's fine. My husband and I knew before our gender reveal but pretended. Give yourself time to prepare if it is another boy.

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I had a little gender disappointment with my first son. At the time we had just gotten custody of our nephew and my husband has a son from a previous relationship. So finding out it was another boy I was a little sad. This time, my husband plans to go with me for the sneak peak ultrasound. He knows how badly I want a little girl because I never had that ‘mother daughter’ relationship and would love to be able to do girly things with someone. In the end I just want a healthy baby but a little girl would be nice. This is our last baby.

Answer

I understand completely. I have a 8 month old son and found out I was pregnant at 17 weeks I had a gender scan with my husband I prayed for a little princess and ended up being told he was a boy. I faked a smile a smile when the sonigrapher told me not because I didn't want another boy but because I was grieving for the loss of the girl (that I never had but always wanted) my husband is completely supportive and I cried for a couple of days until I accepted how great boys are and how much I love my son and that he will grow up with a brother the same age and become such good friends. I'm having a gender party to tell the family which might not end well as the last baby girl born in my family was over 22 years ago everyone has had boys and now I have another so preparing myself for their reactions and the whole bet you wish it was a girl. It will take time to adjust to accepting you will be a boys mum (if it does come to that you never know you might get a little princess) but what I would do as I can't lie to my husband I would be straight with your husband and just tell him you decided to find out at the scan tell him you won't tell him until the party if that's what he wants but you want to know beforehand because your excited and can't wait. He can't be angry at you for wanting to know you have a say also. If he chooses to wait that's his decision and you can surprise him at the gender reveal. I advice against keeping it against him personally but that's just what I would do. What ever you do Goodluck, hope it all goes well keep us updated and I hope you get a little princess 💕

Answer

Also though if it’s a girl this time wouldn’t it be wonderful to be surprised? After losing your daughter I COMPLETELY understand wanting another girl. I hope your husband would understand that as well.

Should I lie?

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