Guy problems

So I confuse the hell out of myself. I don’t even know where to start explaining. I caught feelings for this guy and everything was okay at first. But once I realized I was getting attached I could feel myself shut down, almost like my emotions would turn off. And no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t act okay. It’s like I knew I should be feeling something, but I couldn’t; as if there was this wall between me and expressions. I catch feelings, and then I go blank. I catch feelings but when I realize it, I push them away.