Why do I get treated worst when I’m nice?

I spent a lot of my teenage and early adult years with severe mental health, I didn’t act right and would often resort to abusive and violent behaviours.

I still have the severe mental health now I’m into my twenties but I’m not violent or abusive at all, I went through therapy and basically had to unlearn everything I thought was right but ended up not being right. Since that, I’ve become the abused rather than the abuser

Especially by my own parents. They’ve both always been abusive and well that’s part of why I grew up being the way I was but in my teens and early adult years my parents didn’t give me half as much trouble and abuse as they do now that I’ve changed. I feel like I get nowhere in life being reasonable? Why did people treat me better when they were afraid of me? I feel like I have to snap, be nasty and be reckless for my dad to actually stop treating me like sh*t but soon just reverts days later when I’m being nice and helping him. This sounds insane and it is but do I just have to do something beyond what am to stop him from treating me like this or? I’m really fed up of him shouting at me and threatening to kill me and throwing things, I don’t want to be a horrible person but he makes me feel like I have to seriously attack him in order to set him back? Please help