We just passed my little guys 5 month mark, but i decided to share this story because, well it's a whirl wind!

This is my second pregnancy, correction, was my second pregnancy and I was so ready to meet my baby! Not in the sense like the first time. You know that euphoric, "oh my God I'm going to be a mommy and I just want to see his precious little face" type of ready. I mean the, "I've gained about 30 pounds, my hips feel like an elephant is trying to squeeze through them, and I literally have stretch marks on my cooch, get this kid out of me!" Type of ready😬. I digress.

I had"patiently" waited 38 weeks and this kid was showing no signs of coming out. I begged my doctor to just strip the damn membranes. (for those who don't know, stripping of the membranes is a painfully lovely little swipe of the doctors fingers up your cooch into your dilated cervix to try and help baby come out). It worked like a charm with my first! Literally 24 hours after I had it done I had a baby. So I thought for sure that it would do the trick. My doctor being the saint that he is granted me the sweep! I was thrilled, I rushed home, packed my hospital bag, sat on my ball, walked up and down the halls! It was GO TIME!!!!.......

Annnnnndddddddd nothing. Absolutley nothing. That little shit just happily stayed all tucked up inside my body kicking my ribs. I was so disheartened, uncomfortable, and angry. It was supposed to work and I was supposed to be pushing a baby out at this point. Fast forward to my 39 week apt.

My husband gets off work so he can sit home with our older son so I can get yet another sweep! I go in, sit in the waiting room for 45 minutes (I honestly don't even know why the schedule apts), finally get called back, find out I gained yet another 3 pounds🙄😤, strip faster than a stripper needing to pay rent, hike my legs up onto those doodad things and wait for my doctor.

In walks in a NP who is a partner at this clinic (7 doctor's all working together). She checks me and I'm at a solid 3, I ask for the sweep and she informs me "I don't feel comfortable doing it because you aren't my patient and I wouldn't be the one delivering. Don't work, he will come when he's ready!". If I looked good in orange I would have used my baby's umbilical cord to strangle this woman. I was so done. Done to the point that I was willing to reach my own fingers up there and just yank him out!!!!! But apparently that is frowned upon, so YET AGAIN I went home, not in labor

I make dinner, meander about the house, bathe my son, put my son to bed, and then get into bed to mindlessly scroll through Facebook. My husband joins me and we are watching old vines because we are still basically children, casually discussing who needed to shower more. And then it hit me

I felt a good cramp!!!! Like enough to make me audibly say "well that was uncomfortable". So I decided to go ahead and shower first and see if that cramp doesn't turn into more or not. Next thing I know another cramp, then a minute later another cramp, just gradually getting more intense. By the 4th cramp I was really starting to hurt. I call for my husband and he comes busting through the door like "IS IT TIME?!"

I knew in my heart of hearts, I was going to have a baby that night. I quickly get out, put products in my hair in-between contractions, because hello I can't look like shit in my birth photos duh. Get dressed and head out to my birth ball.

Before this next part of my story I feel like y'all need some back story. My first labor I had all natural! I was a little bitch about it but hey I did it! This time around I knew I wanted to do natural again. But I did my research. I followed so many doulas and birth photographers and education sites. I really wanted to figure out how I wanted my birth to go. I knew I wanted to give birth unassisted in a tub, scattered with wildflowers, and as the sun rose I would birth my gorgeous baby boy. Yeah ok Natalie.

So back to my story.

So I'm on my birthing ball, I was strong and I was empowered, I was a woman of women!!!! Totally kidding, you guys, when I say intense, I mean I honestly thought that at any moment an alien baby was going to pop out of my cooch!!!! Within a span of 20 minutes my contractions went from "oh ok that was uncomfortable" to "holy mother fucking god this is like shitting a knife". I was on all 4s just moaning and letting my inner beast just flow!!!!! Literally screaming for drugs. Every drug possible, I wanted it. Screw the 12 page all natural birth plan, screw birth, screw everyone and their cousin, this shit hurt!!!

I had only been in labor for like an hour when my husband was like "yep time to go to the hospital". My poor poor niave sweet sweet husband. This could take hours, hell days even! Granted my first labor was about 7-8 hours, but still, I didn't want to drive the entire 1.5 miles to the hospital just to be told I wasn't ready yet. Then I had 2 contractions right on top of each other and I was like "yep nope let's go buddy". We get down to the car, have a contraction on the way to the car, zoom off to the hospital, have several more contractions and then I felt it. If you have ever given birth or read any other birth stories you may have heard about that feeling like you need to poop? Well I felt it! Like that sucker was prairie dogging my butt hole. And all I could think was "damn now is a really inconvient time to need to shit".

We finally make it to the hospital, rush up to the l&d floor. Very quickly get put into the triage room, honestly I don't even know why the bothered? I'm clearly in active labor, I'm sitting spread eagle in a hospital wheel chair practically dying! In any case as soon as we get into triage my reaction was "WHERE ARE THE DRUGS?! I NEED THE DRUGS!!!" MY poor triage nurse tried to be sweet and calm and reassuring about getting me admitted and explaining they could not just stick an i.v with drugs in people and there was a process. I was whisked away to a delivery room, my nurse was still trying to admit me and I was like well I'm pushing and can't stop it, and at that very moment my midwife casually strolls in, and goes "oh yeah start pushing start pushing".

And 4 pushes and 7 minutes later my midwife is telling "quick catch your baby"!!! No tearing or anything, he was almost born still in his amniotic sack, practically slipped right out and is absolutley perfect.

From start to finish was 1 hour and 50 minutes. We barely made it to the hospital, I got to catch my baby, and even though it wasn't exactly how I planned, I got to have my natural birth like I wanted.

My sweet boy 5 months later

Both of my boys