Cutting contact with my in laws. Am I wrong?

Question

So my husband's parents are just 🙃 he hates them and I have to always convince him to go to his family functions or I go alone with our son. His parents were crap to him growing up, they made him share a room with his 2 sisters his entire childhood, his mom has always been a hoarder and then they kicked him out at 13 when they got divorced. They never show up for our son, they live less than 5 minutes from us and don't ever see our son because they don't invite us or ask to take my son when they take the other grandkids. They even skipped his baby shower and his first birthday and I'm not expecting them to show up to his 2nd even though they're invited. I went to my husbands nephews birthday party with our son the other day and my MIL freaked out, cried, and just made a huge scene about my 1.5 year old not wanting to sit with her saying he doesn't like her. She does the crying and freaking out thing often because it works on both of my husband's sisters. So recently my husband and I have been discussing just cutting contact with them all together. My FIL is an alcoholic misogynist and horribly selfish. He has a domestic charge for choking my SIL when she was a kid, he also got fired in may for sexual harassment. He talks about women like they're pieces of meat, he even asked me when I was 16 if I had an older sister and if she looked anything like me because he was interested. My MIL is super manipulative and just not very smart, we found out from my SIL that my MILs father would molest her as a kid. And when she told my MIL all she said was "oh he was like that with me too but its okay we're all older now."  I want my son to know his other grandparents but they're so toxic, I don't want him growing up with their behavior normalized and neither does my husband. Are we being rational by saying that they're bad influences and that we're better off without them? Or are we just being cruel? We would still talk to my both of my SIL because they're okay people and we want our son to know his cousins.

Answer

just the molestation is enough. to justify never letting your kid around them. but with everything else on top of it, hell yeah cut them the hell out of his life!

Answer

Cut them out like now! They sound like awful people and you are right to not want your son to normalize that kind of behavior. It sounds like the best thing they could have done for your husband was kick him out. It's so great that he broke that cycle and is making a new one with your son. You both are just doing what is best for him. Sometimes that is not easy to do but it will be worth it.

Answer

Definitely cut ties. You don’t want your innocent child around toxic sludge like that. Honestly I think you should go to therapy for wanting her to babysit.

Answer

Yea cut out the parent in laws

Answer

I think you know the answer. As adults we can and should remove ourselves from toxic situations. Id try to bond with the siblings so the cousins can have a relationship. I wouldnt even worry about the parents.

Answer

My fiance and I just recently cut his mom out of our life. Shes just not a good person and always seems to make everything about her. She doesn't reach out, return messages but then turns everything on us when our son doesnt want anything to do with her and is afraid of her. She had to ask me how old he was the last time we saw her because she had no clue. Shes a legitimate kleptomaniac, I'm afraid to even have her in my house. And she abused drugs and any time we did see her and she would want to hold the baby she would wreak of weed and we would have to ask her to leave. The final straw was her saying she was going to start a fight at my baby shower with my fiances sister and called her own son a cocksucker for inviting her. 
So we are just done at this point. Better off without her honestly and I dont feel bad about it at all 🤷🏻‍♀️

Answer

Child safety and mental health come first. 
I definitely agree: don’t screw your kid up by exposing him to them.

Answer

We are out on the planet to protect our children. Keeping those people away from your child IS the right thing to do. Don't feel bad about that ever! Grandparents or not, if they are what you're saying... Run far away. I'd freaking move farther than 5 mins.

Answer

Never feel guilty about cutting family off trust me it’s better cutting them off then keeping toxic people in your life you can try and try but you can only do so much if you’re the only one making an effort and has been trying cut that shit off lol you will honestly feel so much more relief I had to cut my own father off because I was the only one making the effort sometimes you just gotta say fuck it it is what it is at least you tried

Cutting contact with my in laws. Am I wrong?

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