2 months ago (August 11th) marked the beginning of the last week of my pregnancy with Belén. When I woke up on that Sunday I had no idea that in just 5 days I would have my sweet baby in my arms. Nor did I know that it would unfortunately end in a C-Section. For those who didn’t know, I was diagnosed with Placenta Previa during my 20 week anatomy scan. My midwives assured me that this was common and that 90% of cases resolve by 32 weeks. At my 28 week followup it still hadn’t resolved. The word C-Section started to get thrown around. I was horrified. I begged for another scan in a few weeks. By week 34, it still hadn’t resolved. My care was transferred from my beloved birth center to woman’s hospital.

The recommend mode of delivery for placenta previa is a scheduled C-Section between 36 weeks and 37+6weeks. I saw 2 Maternal Fetal Medicine specialists to learn my risks and educate myself on the possible outcomes if I chose to refuse the early C-Section. Online research brought me to a community of women who had marginal placenta previa’s that resolved after 36 weeks and went on to have successful vaginal deliveries.

This gave me hope. I bartered with my OB to have weekly ultrasounds to check the placenta migration. He and I both agreed that as long as I wasn’t bleeding, I could stay pregnant another day. At this point I don’t know how much of my stubbornness was fighting against the inevitable and how much of it was advocating for my daughter to stay put for as long as possible. Everyone knows that with today’s technology preemie babies can thrive but nothing beats the health of a full term baby. At 38 weeks I thought the nightmare was over. My previa had resolved and my care was transferred back to the birth center. I felt such relief. I was going to get the birth of my dreams and baby girl was almost full term!

Everything was going great, until that damn Sunday morning. My biggest fear happened. I started to bleed. Immediately when I saw the blood, I knew what it meant. I had a placental abruption. I went to see my midwife whom confirmed that it was not normal. For the last time, my care was transferred back to my OB at woman’s hospital.

In assessment my OB tried to urge me to have a C-Section. Again, I stubbornly refused. I was in denial. Maybe if she drops down lower she could stop the bleeding?

I was granted a trial of labor. For 24 hours I was in the hospital trying desperately to get my body into active labor.

Thankfully the bleeding had slowed down, but at 39weeks and 3days pregnant, I was only in early labor. With no progress being made, I was allowed to leave the hospital to but cautioned to not go far. I spent the next 4 days at my mothers house trying to induce labor naturally. No luck. It was a very stressful week and deep down I knew how this was going to end. Thursday morning, August 15th I started having a thin discharge that resembled a small water break. I tried to have to tested for confirmation but I was just bleeding too much to get an accurate result.

My normal OB was out of the office that day and the OB I went to wanted to induce me right away. She told me to head straight to labor and delivery. I didn’t go. Instead, my husband and i went to go eat a late lunch and discuss what our next steps should be. We were both stressed out and needed a breather. We decided to go to the assessment center at a separate hospital for a second opinion. If my water really had broken, I had no issue with going to labor and delivery. I didn’t want to go if it wasn’t Belén’s time yet. The hospital was very concerned about my bleeding and pushed us to do another ultrasound. The ultrasound unfortunately showed that my placenta was right next to my cervix again, and was too large to let the baby come down on the cervix enough to help me dilate. It was over. The final ounce of hope I had left for a natural delivery was gone. Now I had to do what was best for both of us. Have a cesarean delivery.

I cried the whole way to my OB’s hospital, while I was in assessment, the entire time they prepped me in L&D and during the surgery.

August 15th At 9:37pm (just 2 hours after that last ultrasound) Belén Anita Breau was born. 6lbs 15oz and 21.25” long. Healthy and mad as hell.

Our lives are so enriched with her in it. While her delivery wasn’t the one I wanted, it was absolutely the one I needed. I don’t remember too much about the actual surgery and the recovery room, but thankfully my birth photographer capture all the precious moments and managed to leave me with some beautiful birth photos. I never thought I would view a C-Section as being a beautiful moment, but these photos have changed all of that. Let’s just hope I never have to do that again though.