So I’ve been with my guy for almost 7 years now. It’s never really been a great relationship because it started in mid high school and there’s been countless times I’ve caught him talking to other girls and flirting with them. He has a full blown porn addiction.

We took a break last year for a couple months and he told me he went to counseling for it and convinced me he was better so we got back together. I got pregnant in August last year and we now have a five month old son.

He didn’t really want this baby with me and I’ve told him he doesn’t have to stay but he says he does. But it’s like he’s not here anymore. He doesn’t talk to me very much. When I was pregnant he was sexting and talking to a girl we went to school with, but throwing some money in so it’s “porn”. Hurt really bad but I was about to have a baby and was afraid of being alone. And he said it’s “just porn”. I disagree. He promised he would block her Snapchat but when I look she’s not blocked. I have a feeling he still talks to her.

He made a fake Instagram to find premium snapchats and when I was pregnant I also saw he joined a website for anonymous hookups. Like craigslist for affairs. He says he wasn’t going to actually do anything and he “just wanted to look”.

Also we recently moved closer to Seattle. Theres a high sex trade in this area. I saw on his maps history a few random random locations he looked up by the address. Looking into them they’re like massage parlors or panaderias. Places he wouldn’t normally go and in the randomest parts of Seattle. He comes home from work about an hour to and hour and a half after he’s off and says that’s just how long it takes. Google maps says it only takes 10 minutes to get home.

He doesn’t let me access his finances even though we’re combined with finances. He’s made it so he doesn’t get any kind of bank statement mailed so I don’t see what he does. He’s also locked me out of his computer and doesn’t let me use it even though I don’t have one. Makes sure to clear all history on his phone all the time.

I just have a terrible feeling about what he’s been up to. I feel like I need hard evidence to leave since we have a baby. If I don’t he’ll make me feel like I made a mistake for the rest of our lives. It stresses me out constantly and I feel like it’d be easier to just build a life with my son by myself than to worry about this all the time.