So grateful for the out pour of love we received on my birthday with my pregnancy announcement I didn’t get a chance to thank everyone right away ! But just know we are beyond thankful ! I really wanna share my testimony on how good God is ! I’ve been on and off birth control for the last couple of months testing out different prenatals taking different medications to make my period come and to help with my ovulation! Going to different fertility specialist checking my hormone levels. It’s been two yrs since my last loss which was in October of 2017 and 2 years of nothing ! 2 yrs of hurt of crying of negative pregnancy test 2 years of worthlessness 2 years of not feeling like a woman! 2 years of thinking my husband will leave me soon since I can’t give him a baby 2 years of me trying to push him away 2 years of him being resilient and staying by my side through my grieving process! 2 years of him dealing with my constant battle of faith 2 years of me trying to be happy for all the other females pregnancy 2 yrs of me feeling like shit when jealousy became a very strong emotion of mine 2 yrs of battling my depression anxiety ptsd 2 years of battling every evil thought in my head 2 years of different medication for my depression and anxiety and the medication making me gain weight rapidly and had to chalk it up to “happy weight”cuz no one really knew.. 2yrs of nightmares and screaming and waking up in my sleep! As June rolled in I was getting ready to give up on having the wedding that I wanted to have the family I desperately needed... I made my appointments for the fertility specialist was ready to do what I had to for fertility treatments which is very very very expensive! I’ve learned to come to terms with not every women is made the same! And I refused to sit in silence and suffer so I made my struggle known which helped a lot with my healing process and was going to track and record my steps through the process of my fertility treatments. So the start of the appointments were made and boom a miracle happened I started feeling slight cramping and had light pinkish spotting... I thought I was getting my period but it didn’t come ! I didn’t want to take a test because I didn’t want to see another negative I was finally happy and didn’t want to be disappointed I fought with myself for maybe three days until I finally took it and was shocked as hell that it was positive damn near almost had an heart attack... the beginning was very scary for me! I had a whole bunch of emotions and thoughts I wanted to remain positive but it was super hard to all I kept thinking was what if this ended the same way as my last what would I do I couldn’t handle another lost so I just kept on praying and thanking God for my blessing. Every appointment was nerve racking for me but every appointment ended so well! Now I’m here almost 22 weeks still in amazement... feeling so blessed and happy... It was hard for me to put this in god hands because I was so weary and hurt from my last two losses but I did and it’s gotten me so far! #everythingwillhappeninhistime #faith #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth #iam1in4 #myrainbowbaby #neverlosefaith