Just a lil vent

Currently 17 weeks 4 days with my rainbow baby and each time I feel him move I cry with my first pregnancy I never got to feel her move her heart stopped when I was 17 weeks and before I found out I was pregnant with her I was so depressed and after having to go into labor just to not be able to take her home broke me so bad I constantly wanted to kill myself and never asked for help just when i was about to give up I saw those two little lines and couldn’t believe it I’m so thankful this precious baby boy chose me to be his mother without him who knows where I’d be right now