So, I became a single mother 4-5 months ago. My husband started going downhill during my pregnancy with my son. My father passed away exactly a month before my son was born to top it off. My husband was spending his whole paychecks partying and going to strip clubs. I’m talking $600 in a night type of stuff and he made decent money. I got sick of it and kicked him to the curb. He now lives a few hours away and visits on the weekends. Supervised visits by me. I am the opposite of everything he chose to become when he got that job and got in with idiots and changed completely. I don’t drink but rarely like once every few years if that. I’m shy usually and don’t party much less like the bar scene. I’m lame in his eyes now that he got a taste of being a grown teenager. He’s 32! I’m 34. We were together 8 years almost and married for a little over a year. Got married a few days after I had my son. Well, there’s the background story a bit and now to today. I am pregnant by him and am now 4 weeks and 1 day. Yeah, I slept with my toxic husband again when he enticed me back in and I had a hoe moment with him when I knew better. 😂 I wanted another and had many losses after my son and a few before him. The thing is we can’t divorce while I’m preg in this state, but can file. He wants me to move where he lives with our son and I told him no wayyyy. He was talking to exes,as he was telling me I could trust him, and he’s changed. More lies and deceit and not even 2-3 weeks ago and that went on our whole separation along with more sexting!!! Disgusting to me and ultimate betrayal as if everything else wasn’t enough as a new mom. I’m hurt, but also kinda thankful my son gets a sibling and I won’t be around all of his mess during it all this time around. I won’t have to hide how happy I am because god forbid I love my baby’s more than his crapola and he isn’t the center of my world but they are. Is it bad that I don’t want him to be a part of labor or delivery this time since he made it traumatic last time and made fun of me in labor and made it uncomfortable. Nope it’s not. Is it bad that I want to be a single mother and have my shit together and am in school getting my Bachelors of Environmental Science and will do better as a single mother than with him. Not at all. I’m starting to get my confidence back and realize he did as he said he did and tried to keep me down so I did not realize how much he isn’t for me. I’ve gotten so much accomplished within a few months and more without him then with him. Its lonely and scary at times and people are so going to judge me hardcore when they find out I’m pregnant again, but guess what I don’t care anymore. I’m happy and am blessed! This is going to work out. My two rainbows are my motivation, and there really are some perks to being a single mother too. I really just needs to get this out there. My friends are also worried the few that know I’m pregnant again that I’ll jump right back into what I let temporarily destroy me. I’m standing my ground and he isn’t who he was after I got preg the first time and he started working there and he has not given me one month of marriage without deceit. There is no way I’m going back to the person he is now. I honestly have liked being a single mother a whole lot better than whatever that was. He is so upset I won’t move there and now trying to get a place here which worries my mom and bff more that it’ll mess up my school and everything I have going for me and my baby’s. I’ve got this y’all!!!

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