I’m married, been married for 9 years, but we’ve been together 12yrs. We just celebrated our 3rd babies 1st birthday.

We’ve been fighting constantly, and constantly feels like the last 5yrs. I’m not saying it’s been terrible those last 5yrs. It just keeps getting progressively worse. The fights have gotten so bad (not physical) but we both are just saying terrible things to each other.

Lately it just feels like there’s no getting back the respect for each other and we’ve been so hurtful. I’m mean we both say horrible things.

It’s gotten so bad to the point where I’m just defeated. I really don’t have the energy to fight anymore. The kids hear it, we try to keep it away from them, but it’s happening every day.

Tonight I feel like we hit a low point. I said something like “you wouldn’t care if I died tomorrow”

And he says “go ahead”

Now right after he said it he completely tried to back track it and act like he didn’t mean it, but in that moment it was like a light bulb. Like that’s it. He really wouldn’t care, so why am I with this person.

We went around again fighting until I just started crying saying, I don’t think we can come back from this and he told me maybe we should try being separated...

I just don’t know if that’s worth the time. I love him but I don’t know if it’s just the history and the family we created together. I don’t want to put my kids through this anymore but I also don’t know if a divorce will hurt them more.

Where do I go from here. I really don’t know how to fix or even if I want to fix this relationship.