Obsessive family members

My husband & I decided to tell family after our 12 week appointment... it’s been hell. We only wanted a select few on each side to know and they started telling others without our consent. Then I decided to throw a baby shower back home (NYC) because all my family and friends/ husbands (most) are there. It’s been a nightmare, I keep getting people telling me what they want done for the occasion and others telling me “why are you doing it so soon. You should cancel it” (I’m doing it at the end of my 2nd trimester peaking into my 3rd because we live so far away, I don’t want to travel my last 3 months) and then today my mother in law tells my husband that his brother and wife would like to throw us a baby shower because “it’s not fair to the family that lives in FL.” Mind you these people don’t even look for us. Don’t care to talk to us at the family events, but we must accommodate them.

I’m to the point of just telling everyone to fuck off and let me enjoy my pregnancy. It has been giving me anxiety and making me cry because everyone has plans for us, but doesn’t even ask us if we mind or not.

Sorry for the long post... I just really needed to get that out.