Anxious Over Not Feeling Anxious? (Trigger Warning: discussion of anxiety and panic attacks)

So all through last year (my freshman year of high school) starting in November, I had a rough time with anxiety. I was so anxious I felt sick to my stomach for at least almost half of the day, and I was having panic attacks almost everyday in the bathroom.

Over the summer it lapsed a bit, but as I got closer to the school year, it started acting up again. I talked to my parents and started seeing a therapist.

I’m now in my sophomore year and I had been doing really good. I was on top of my work, getting to know new people, picking up new activities, altogether feeling more confident.

But in the past few weeks the anxiety has been back. Occasionally there’ll be a trigger, an audition or a big test or a race or a friend is going through a tough time, but a lot of the time there isn’t. It just happens.

When I get anxious, I shut down and withdraw and nothing gets done, causing me to fall behind which doesn’t help matters.

I’m starting to notice I get anxious now when I’m not feeling anxious. It feels like a hammer above my head that I KNOW is going to drop, but I don’t know when.

Is this a thing, or am I just being a hot mess? What can I do to be normal?