Controlling mother, help.

Some background information. My mother is and always has been very controlling over my and my siblings. I am free of her now for the most part but she still has emotional guilt hooks inside me that she pulls on occasion. I can’t cut her off completely but I feel like I need to for the remainder of my pregnancy (5 more weeks). Can anyone offer advice?

I’m 35 weeks with my rainbow baby, I lost a baby last year in a very traumatic way, have since has severe depression, PTSD and been seeing a therapist weekly over it. I didn’t plan this pregnancy, it just happened and it’s been very rough the entire time. My brain seems determined to keep me from bonding with the bump as a defense mechanism as I was so hurt last time. Anyway, flash forward. My mother is very touchy, very forceful and she has been trying to touch my bump and talk to it a lot. It makes me very uncomfortable and I have told her, but she keeps trying.

Yesterday she came over for coffee. Said she wanted to spend time with my son (he’s 6) before he goes away with my husband, but she spent the whole time ignoring him (her coming over is just about asserting herself as his grandma before he visits his other grandma. Really pathetic). Anyway, she starts talking about her friend’s daughter who just gave birth in the hospital we recently transferred to (we moved house 2 months ago and had to change all our care providers for this pregnancy). She starts telling horror stories about what happened with her friend’s daughter and advocating for home birth (she is a huge home birth fan and I am not, never have been, I’m fine if that’s your choice but I know I could never have one). She wouldn’t take a hint to stop talking and I felt myself starting a panic attack. I excused myself and had a 20 minute panic attack before putting my face back on and coming out (she’s still talking about it). (After losing my baby last year I’ve been very prone to panic attacks but haven’t had one in months and thought I was doing well with therapy.) anyway I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, flat out. She continues because I “NEED TO BE AWARE” and then starts AGAIN pushing for home birth. I just shut down. She left and text me saying she can’t handle my anger towards her. When I told her how triggered I was she replied “how am I supposed to know what triggers you? You don’t tell me anything.” It’s true I haven’t told her a lot lately because she blabs all my personal information to her friends and family and I struggle with everyone knowing my business. Anyway she’s totally turned the situation around and is now “hurt” by how little I consider her and how horrid I am to her. I feel like I am falling apart today. I can’t cope. Cried all day and can’t get out of bed. I am already so anxious over the birth of my child because I anticipate him dying again and now I just don’t know what to do. I feel like all the progress I’ve made mentally has fallen and I’m drowning. My husband leaves tomorrow and I don’t know how I am going to cope. The only close family I have near by is my mother, of course. Please let me know what you think? Am I in the wrong???? My husband says I shouldn’t feel guilty as she continually refuses to respect my boundaries but I can’t help it, I’ve been conditioned my whole life to pander to her guilt (especially since my father died when I was a teenager.)