Boyfriend says I’m “loose” but I still satisfy him 😟

My Partner said that he thinks I’m “loose” down there.

He’s the biggest I’ve ever had (9in)

We’ve been together almost 7 years.

And then he ended up saying he was “joking” afterwards. Now whenever we are intimate I know I’ll be self conscious 😢

I do kegals but don’t stick to them consistently.

This was just last night.

Deep down I think he really means that I’m loose.

☹️