Stress and Crying

Day two of seven on my period and it’s nothing abnormal. However, as a senior at my school, my school likes to be a bit annoying/extra and give seniors mandatory speech to finish the year. It has to be on a topic that matters which is fine.

But the problem is, any and every girl knows what mood swings are like on their period. It’s just chaotically unnecessary. So I was meeting with my theatre teacher to go over my speech and pace for Thursday (my speech date) and I just bawled my eyes on stage.

I think it was due to stress from college apps being due November 1st or like the day after my speech I have to give in front of 200 students. So I just ugly cried and couldn’t breathe in deep breaths to calm down while saying my speech. I felt bad for my theatre teacher because she couldn’t do anything and I just stood there not trying to collapse and have a worse meltdown than already.

I don’t know why I wrote this honestly, I’ve talked to classmates and teachers about this week and they all understand. But it’s nice to hear a stranger’s thoughts.

Side note, the topic I chose is adoption. Seems a bit random but here’s a bit of some backstory, I’m adopted from China and don’t look like anything on the mainline white visco girl town/school. I own a normal car whereas everyone owns a Jeep and so on. Not that more materialistic things bothe me as much as some. It’s just a bit heart breaking to think that I was given up because no one could fight to keep me with my birth parents. Like I think of it as something more out of a movie or show. Not real life.

This also hasn’t been on my mind as a negative thing. Rather it’s just been a fact about me. However, while researching all of this, I’ve learned that I’m extremely emotional and worry about others a lot. I care too much sometimes about my friends and family and I can cry from sympathizing with them.

Honestly I think I wrote this to get off my chest. But I’ve had mood swings to Timbuktu today and I just want to sleep everything off. I won’t lie and say I’ve not thought about self harm from thinking I wasn’t important enough to my biological parents from learning about this. But I can’t bring myself to self harm even if I tried or something. So I’m grateful for that. But these mood swings are sometimes a hassle to handle.

Has anyone had days on their periods where they just want to cry a day away for no particular reason other than it’s your period? Because that’s me right now.