Good chance I was blow drying a dead chicken

I walked by my garden and see chickens in there. Well, it’s fenced off so that the goats don’t eat everything in it. I saw one laying flat on the ground. There shouldn’t be chickens in it either, especially being that it’s freezing cold outside and raining. Because it was stuck in the garden and unable to go to its coop to be warm, at first I thought it was dead from freezing to death.

So I go retrieve said dead chicken, and I was looking at it making sure that it actually froze to death and wasn’t like, chased into the garden and attacked. It was cold, and stiff like the dead. Then I swear I saw it move... couldn’t be sure. I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks because I didn’t want it to be dead. So I proceeded to be the weird ass bitch that I am, and I took the chicken inside and started blow drying it dry.

As I’m doing this, I know that it could very well be a very dead chicken that I am unthawing and blow drying. Still, I made sure not to get her too hot with with the blow dryer so that I wouldn’t burn her. My whole entire family: that chicken is dead. Cold and stiff and dead.

Mhm yes well guess what dead chicken started to move and make sounds?

This one.

Then I let her rest on a heating pad.. and the dead chicken started to sit up.

Then she opened her eyes and bit the shit out of me.

Nobody would believe this shit if I didn’t get pictures and videos. Lmfao

She gets to spend her night in a warm bath tub sleeping in blankets.

Added: I really still can’t believe this happened today. I mean, I did not expect a full recovery like that. She was not doin well 👀 and I was taking my chances with what I 98% thought was a corpse. Came back with a bite and everything.

So right after I blow dried her, I got some warm water and opened the mouth and dropped some in, just to get some warmth within her because she was like an ice cube still. She had a gag response to that and swallowed, which was also something I was looking for.

(If you didn’t know, dead things don’t have a gag reflex)

Which brings me to another reason I call myself a weird ass bitch... because when I saw that, I told her “that’s right. Look death it it’s face and spit in its eye.” And my brother said “this girl really over here talkin to a dead chicken.”

“It’s dead when I say it’s dead.”

And what did I say 👀🤣

Update: she was jumping out of the bathtub this morning and screamed until she was back with her “group” and is currently running around the yard with them.