Is it bad?

Is it bad or awful of me that I don't want to attend another baby shower. I love my sister and her baby and yeah I would like to see the new one sometimes, but the last baby shower I went to was when my sister was pregnant with my niece, and i didnt want a baby then, but a year later I am married and really want one and both my sisters know how I feel about the topic ( which both are expecting) and I kind of don't want to attend this one. I'm glad she's happy, but I can't go and pretend that I'm happy and yeah I am jealous shame on me, but I don't think I can handle it