Don’t want to test

Why can I not test? I really want to know but I don’t want to be disappointed 😔. Every time I take one it’s always negative & this time everything feels different & I honestly feel like I am pregnant but what if it’s just all in my head? That’s what I’m not ready for! My period was suppose to start today but it hasn’t came on yet. I guess I’ll take a test in the morning. Only because I’ve been getting really light headed & dizzy all today. I guess I just need positive energy to get me thru this! I just really want a BFP