I’m really asking a sincere question.. please be kind. 💙

Over the past couple of months, I feel like my husband has demonstrated behaviors like verbal abuse or manipulation.. I don’t have anyone to talk to because I’m ashamed and really don’t know where to begin. And I don’t want anyone to judge him, because I love him so very much.

For example.. I’m having health problems and my doctor is telling me to cut back on fatty, lactose or milk filled products. So my husband tells me yesterday he wants to make French onion soup. I tell him okay.. I’ve never had it before so I’m unsure if I’d like it. Well after looking into his recipe, it makes me nervous to eat. ☹️ So he got him, proceeds to tell me how wonderful it must be to get off at 2 o’clock and sit on my ass until 4.. which I did and don’t give a flying fuck about because I needed some me time & to unwind from a very long, draining day.

So he tells me how he came home early.. I say “I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to eat it. Very calm and matter of fact tone.

He starts yelling at me saying how I’m such a bitch for leading him on and how he’s doing this out of the goodness of his heat to be nice and make me dinner?? Like I know your being nice and I appreciate it but never once did I say you can’t make it??

He really hurt my feelings because he went into our bedroom and started cussing about how I’m such a bitch and how I don’t care about anyone but myself.. and that’s not true. 😔 I told him that because I didn’t want to hurt his feelings after he had already made me soup. I tried to tell him I’d love to try it and eat a small potion. But he didn’t listen

Advice? I don’t know what else to do.. every time I try and discuss how I feel, it’s always ME telling him how HE needs to/should feel.. which I don’t understand because I’m talking about myself, me and I?

What do I even say? I don’t want to start another fight.. every time I try and express how I’m feeling, he just tells me to try harder to not feel that way. He’s literally told me that’s can’t statement while I was on the floor crying out in pain and dry heaving while I was having a gallbladder attack.. ☹️