For all the women going through a hard time!

This is such a long post!! But, Before I write this I want to start out by saying I’m not writing this to get negative comments about how you cant trust a cheater or you should’ve left... My husband and I have been married for 2 years almost 3.. and I’ve read a lot of stories on here about how hard marriage is and cheaters and abusers and I wanted to share my story. I hope someone finds it helpful. This is my story of all the pain I went through and hurt I’ve encountered.

When I was 14 I was raped and assaulted by a guy I thought loved me. He beat the shit out of me till I was unconscious and raped me. I was petrified of men I even moved states after it happened to try to get a new start. That’s when I met my husband

My husband and I met when I was 16. Young, foolish, thinking we knew everything.. my husband use to be a drug dealer he would sell weed, sometimes pills. I never thought it was a big deal... until he got involved with a certain group. He would sell a lot more with a lot more drugs. Always be around this horrible man and I would be with him 9/10. Normally because we would be out doing something and he would get a call from that guy. My husband started drinking, and taking Xanax. A lot. I suffered from anxiety but I was starting to become a drug addict. My drug of choice was prescription pain killers. Then it turned to heroin. When my husband would drink he would be very rude. Made me feel like I wasn’t worth anything. In November 2015 I got pregnant. I got clean I was so happy. Then the next month I had a miscarriage.. it felt like everything was falling apart. I went into a depression and even was suicidal. Attempted to kill my self but it didn’t work. I always wondered why.. I felt trapped everything was going down hill.. my husband cheated on me so many times but I was too upset to deal with anything. My husband came home one night and found me unconscious. I overdosed on stuff he got. I was hospitalized for days. He never left my side it took him almost loosing me to realize everything going on. Things got better. I got help. He worked slowed down on the selling.. Few months later found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. But everything was going so well until October 2016. My husband got arrested for possession with intent and it was the best thing that ever happened. He didn’t Think anyone would bail him out or help him because he realized everything he did he hurt people, people who loved him. But we were all there. 2 weeks later november 17, 2016.. we had our son.. he was born premature and was in the nicu for 2 weeks. But he ended up being just fine. Thank god. Fast forward to a year later everything was going so well. No problems we let everything go. We got married in March of 2017 I found out he cheated on me again when he went out with his guy friends. I was broken. Hurt. Pissed. Ready to kill him. To be honest. I kept thinking after everything you put me through and everything we have been through why am I not good enough. I left him. Stayed with my parents for 3 months. I even filed for divorce ladies.. I was so hurt then the day before we were going to court something hit me. I couldn’t do it. Marriage is hard. My husband and I sat down and talked and we came up with a game plan to work everything out. To talk to communicate and he has worked soo hard to gain my trust. Now we are having baby number 2 in February our marriage is stronger than ever . My husband turned into a new man. The point of me writing this is to let you know you trust your gut yes it is so hard to forgive a cheater but if that’s what you want and your ready to try again do it. Marriage takes a lot of work we all make a lot of mistakes. I have been sober for almost 2.5 years now. And my husband has been clean for going on 2. If anyone needs someone to talk to I am here. I have been abused, I have used drugs, I have been suicidal, depressed, cheated on multiple times. And I am still here through all my pain I am still here! I have been sexually assaulted in the past and I am still here. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Everyone has a story and I hope mine can help. 🖤 be strong ladies nothing can ever break you.

We all go through a lot but I wouldn’t trade going through anything with my husband the lies the drugs the cheating anything because it made us who we are now. Thank you for reading this 🖤