Lack of sexual intimacy. I don't want to seem selfish but, this sucks.

Hello there 👋 just warning whoever is reading this that this post is LONG. okay, so....

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 3 years and living with each other for 2 years. He's a gamer but also takes the time to talk and go on dates which is awesome, I love date nights with this one. But for the last year and a half, we've been having sex once a week or once every other week pretty much. And when we do, he doesn't last long since we never have sex 🙃 then doesn't make an effort to finish me off so I either have to ask or just not say anything and go about my day. He is ALWAYS the one to initiate sex and I will take whatever I can get at this point because when I initiate sex he'll just say "I'm not in the mood". I've tried sending nudes, walking around naked, sitting on his lap, talking dirty, etc. And seriously, nothing comes out of it.

On a side note, he drinks every day and smokes weed every day. And I've told him I don't like it and that he should really think about cutting back because I feel like it contributes to his depression and sex drive. I try not to make him feel bad about it but the other day I just got so frustrated and was like "when are you going to start cutting back?" And he was like "when I start to feel better." And then I said "and you think drinking and smoking every day will help?"...no answer. I've told him to go see a therapist or maybe go on a mushroom trip but it's hard to tell him what to do, he's just so stubborn at times. I feel bad, I know he's been depressed for a while (ever since I met him) but I can't help him if he doesn't want to get better. We eat pretty well at home he just drinks and smokes to hide from his insecure thoughts I guess.

Idk what to do. I feel frustrated and drained. I even bought him some lionsmane mushrooms because apparently it helps with depression but I feel like he just needs to stop drinking and smoking and he'll feel so much better!

Any advice would be much appreciated because I feel like I'm about to go cray cray haha. I just want him to get better 😖

Thanks for listening!