So a few months ago I have been just through the worst in my life you guys can’t imagine how much I hate these people because of this even my own mother and grandmother and I love my husband but at the same time also have hate for him for his rejection I found out I was pregnant and I have a son already from another man but I was dating my now husband for about two years then a few months ago I found I was pregnant I never wanted the pregnancy but he told me to keep it I was out of the USA because I was with him in dr I still live with my grandma and my mom lives a few minutos away since the moment I found out I was pregnant I never wanted that pregnancy he didn’t let go to the store alone nothing because he knew I wanted an abortion so I said that when I came to nj I would find a doctor a cane with 5 months but it was still possible I cried so much over this I had to get married pregnant I always dreamed of my wedding but not pregnant I always tried hidding the pregnancy went only to the doctors to the house and Was always hidding and hated when someone talked about it my husband always wanted a baby so I feel he did it in intentionally I even drank ties at home threw myself to the floor and wished to start bleeding and miscarry I had so many plans for just us two and I know it might sound selfish my mom just said that’s your problem there were 5 months already so there were clinics in nyc but didn’t accept insurance then at 6 months I found out there financial help for it but out of state and I didn’t have money for transportation my mom said I can’t help you it’s to dangerous they could kill you and I told her I rather die than have this unwanted child so then I gave birth my husband since pregnancy barely touched me barely made love to me and my hate grew more for him and what I was carrying I hit my stomach all the time during pregnancy after a have birth a a few months went by and I tried to kill myself taking Benadryl pills in two different occasions and told my grandma that I rather be dead and she said then die then stop saying it and kill yourself people who kill themselves don’t say it as much I’m living with my husband and my grandma and baby he said he will send her to his mom in dr so I could try to feel better I get mad because since the pregnancy he barely touches me even doe he says he loves me I don’t want to talk to my mom ever again I don’t even talk to her even when we go to her house I barely speak a word with her I have already had an abortion before and it was the best choice