Please no negative comments, I just wan some advice from you guys!

I’m 21 years old.

In 2017, I met my first and got pregnant with him...I was 18 at that moment so I was hurt when I know that I was pregnant. I had my first abortion Bc I knew I couldn’t raise the baby and my first (now my ex) wouldn’t be there. So I had a pill abortion which didn’t really do well that I had to do surgical after a week.

March 2019, I met this guy who I’m currently with. He is amazing. We’ve been together for 7 months. We’ve so much fun together. But I still feel like I’m trying to distance myself Bc I don’t wan get hurt again.

This Monday We found out that I’m pregnant 🤦🏽‍♀️ We’re not in situation where we can raise this baby....So another abortion for me? 😞😭

The thing is my bf doesn’t know I had an abortion before. I’m afraid to tell him but at the same time I wan him to know One Bc I don’t wan hide anything from him Two I wan him to know how much my last abortion cause me pain mentally and physically. But I’m scared for him not to leave me (idk why I think like that) 😩😭

WHAT SHOULD I DO???