Struggling tonight

My husband and I are TTC baby #2, or maybe I should just say that I am. This is my struggle. He isn't as serious about this as I am. Every cycle he's only wanted to try once or twice. This time around he promised me we'd do it several times and I am TRYING for SMEP. Well it's out of the question now because it took too long for me to get my toddler to sleep and my husband is TOO TIRED to have sex. He has to be awake for work in 4 hours. He promised me this time that he would do it when needed because he wants this too. And although I understand him being tired, I am just extremely frustrated because I want/NEED this to happen soon. I have a medical issue that cannot be resolved until I am done having babies. Not to mention, I am now 35 and not getting any younger. I just really needed to vent because I am sitting here holding back tears and also trying to convince myself not to murder my husband. By the way, he didn't work today and because I knew we were supposed to try tonight, I took on the majority of the load while he lounged and played 6 hours of video games. I'm just so sad right now and feeling completely hopeless.

Thanks for reading