Ok, so I haven’t been diagnosed with BPD but I have a feeling I might have it since I identify with at least 6 of the 9 traits.

I’ve been looking online for a way to help people who have BDP be more considerate of their partners feelings since i lack that a lot and because of this my boyfriend wants to take time to focus on himself since he’s tired of feeling like I don’t take his feelings into consideration. I of course would just argue and make the situation about myself and he’s tired of the cycle of us arguing and not fixing anything. So now I have to work on myself to show him that I really am serious about the relationship and I’m not just going to continue the same patterns.

I’ve tried speaking to him about why I am the way I am but he seems really upset and tired of the patterns and thinks I am just manipulating him and playing with his emotions. He often says I don’t care about his feelings since whenever he speaks on his mind I just make the duration about myself.

Couples therapy wouldn’t work since he isn’t really trying to be with me until he sees drastic changes. This is honestly putting an extreme damper on my mood especially since he’s my FP and when we’re on bad terms it feels like the world is ending.

Any help, motivation, tips, anything is helpful please. I just feel terrible about this. We’ve been together for 4 1/2 years and i don’t want to lose him.