We got pregnant without trying. Not words everyone will want to hear but it’s true.

We did try for 6 months and then stopped because we didn’t want a baby born in November, December or January (all my nieces and nephews are born then).

Surprise! We found out we were pregnant and due at the end of November!

We announced at Easter as everyone was together then and embarked on a rather uneventful pregnancy...

...until I hit 37 weeks. I woke up itchy on a Tuesday. I’ve been itchy most of my pregnancy but that’s because of my skin stretching on my bump. This was a different itch.

The palms of my hands and the soles of my feet were just so itchy! I couldn’t handle it but decided to see if it would go away before my midwife appointment on Thursday.

Thursday arrives, I haven’t slept because the itching is so bad. I tell my midwife and she instantly calls the on-call OB. We meet with the OB that very day and am diagnosed with Cholestasis.

Cholestasis is when the bile duct in my liver stops functioning as it should and the build up of bile causes the itching and can lead to major complications...including stillbirth 😵.

My husband and I instantly panic. I’m given a pill to stop the itching and help remove some bile buildup. It doesn’t help the itching. For the next week, before we meet with the OB again, we don’t sleep.

On the Sunday before the OB appointment, I don’t feel the baby move for over 2 hours. We go down and find out he just wanted an audience 🙄.

Thursday after we turn 38 weeks, we meet with the OB again. He asks how I’m feeling and I lay it all on the line: not sleeping, anxiety, still very itchy and constantly worried about baby’s movements. The OB wants to induce me, which is fine with me.

I am told it’s happening that Saturday. Okay, that’s fast but manageable. The OB checks for dilation and I’m already 4cm! First time mom and I’m almost half way there!

We go in for the induction. I have to get antibiotics because I’m GBS+ so they hook me up to that and the Oxytocin. I’m fine until they break my water. I don’t really feel contractions because they are in my back and I’ve had back pain for months anyway.

I go from not feeling anything to agony in 60 seconds flat. I request the epidural I was so adamant about not getting. I took it like a champ apparently. The whole time I’m expelling amniotic fluid all over the bed, the floor and my poor husband who is new to all of this (so am I but I knew what to expect).

After an hour, I’m progressing but not. My contractions are wonky but my cervix is at 7cm. There is another unsettling development. My baby’s heart rate has dropped and isn’t coming back up.

The OB on-call whisks in and states I’m ending up with a c-section. I signed the forms and before I knew it I was on the table being cut open. My poor husband is beside himself but keeps it together for me during the surgery.

We hear hour sons first cry and we both burst into tears. I order my husband to stay with our son. He obliged.

I feel them stitching me up. Like fully feel it. They topped up the epidural and continued. I’m nauseous and scared and freezing cold.

I’m wheeled into recovery after another 20 minutes and my husband hands me our son. Our Jack.

Jack Blaine Stafford, born are 6:57pm on Saturday, November 16, 2019. He weighed 8lb 2oz, 19.75 inches long.

We had planned for a medication free vaginal birth and got something completely different. It happens and it’s important to mourn the delivery you wanted but didn’t get.

Does it change the outcome? Absolutely not. I have a beautiful son that is worth all the pain I’m experiencing.