I am blessed to have a happy, hefty growing baby boy. He is in a safe home with two loving parents and most anything he could need or want right now.

Many days, I look at him in awe and with adoration. But on days like today, when he has only screamed and fussed when he was not sleeping or eating, I feel so disconnected—like he couldn’t care less who his mama is, and may actually dislike me. Nothing I do seems to help comfort him.

I worry that my lack of connection or capability in these moments will somehow damage him. I had to walk away from his crib in tears today because I couldn’t think of anything different to try and needed just a few minutes away from the crying to collect myself. I felt like I was faking it as a gentle, patient parent when I came back to try again.

Please tell me I’m not the only mom who feels this way sometimes, and that it gets better when these little ones can smile, laugh, and reach out to their mamas.