My toxic ex vs my husband...

It’s absolutely wild the difference between them. When I think about it I’m so baffled about what I ever even saw in my ex.

To make a long story (kinda) short I met my ex when I was 17. He was 22. We started dating when I turned 18 & literally right away we got pregnant. I was terrified. I had just paid for my dorm & was packed for college when i found out I was pregnant.

From the beginning it was apparent he had anger issues & he would explode at minor inconveniences. All he did was play his video games & work. Like getting him to be affectionate was impossible unless he wanted to have sex. & he never gave me attention other than that. Like none. Towards the end of our relationship he wouldn’t even sleep next to me he would play video games & then sleep on the couch.

We fought literally every single day but I wanted it to work so bad for my baby that I just put our issues aside & tried every day to be better because i always thought it was my fault. One time when i was pregnant we were in the car fighting & I told him I would walk to my moms house (at 11 pm) & he said ok. & drove off. I was a hormonal prego I didn’t think he’d actually let me get out & walk. But he did.

But our entire relationship was like that & it got worse when our son was born. I would cry all the time at night because the baby was crying & I didn’t know what to do. Plus i had really bad ppd. he would wake up when i cried & scream at us & throw things & punch holes in the walls. He threw and broke our fan once.

I was an 18 year old mother living in his house without anyone else. I had no one. I needed help & some direction with parenting & instead he got angry when I didn’t know what to do. Because why would he help me with his son, right?

We ended up breaking up by the time my son turned 1 & for a while after our break up I begged for him to love me & not break up our family.

Soon after while i was still healing, i met my now husband. I was... a mess. I definitely jumped into a relationship, but it felt so right. I don’t even know how to explain it, it’s like my heart was drawn to his. He was so kind, but just him being affectionate towards me turned me off & was scary because i had been used to a man who was not at all like that. We broke up once because i told him i wasn’t ready for him & I felt so empty. we got back together a week later & now we are married!

He is seriously a rare find you guys. This man is the definition of unconditional love. He loves me through my mood swings, through my anxiety, he loves my gross body, my gross face. He works all day & comes home & helps with the babies & loves on me all the time. He gets up with me sometimes at night to help with the baby & when I cry he tells me he loves me & hugs me. He loves my son too & wants to adopt him but his dad would never let that happen. Plus my son was so much happier once my husband came into our lives. It’s just wild.

The fact that i begged a man to love me & then I ended up meeting my soulmate who I will never have to beg to love me.

We now have a 5 month old son & I couldn’t imagine my life without them.

So ladies... leave your man if he’s toxic. You can do better! Plus I promise your babies will be happier!

Here are some pictures of our family. 💙