This year, although still going was by far my worst. Of course, I'm grateful that my family is healthy, that's all that matters, however, it was filled with so much negativity, loss and pain.

Every year, I enter with a big smile on my face, expecting a miracle like many. However, this year just kept testing me. From scandals and arguments with my husband(I look back now and realize how stupid they were), us breaking up and coming together all winter and early spring. To my favorite pet dying at the age of just one from a very aggressive lymphoma in August.

I thought things were just piling up and there is so much I just don't want to even write or dig through.

In September, I was the happiest -- pregnant! I thought this is it, I was sure things were finally good. In November, I found out I had a missed miscarriage, I experienced a whole new level of pain. A piece of me died.

Now, as I recover, both mentally and physically -- I want to wish for one thing. I hope next year will make us happy. I won't give up and nobody should!

I hope for those ladies who experienced loss, may you find peace within yourselves. Those who are searching for those lines, I hope you see them. Those who got their hearts broken, I hope they heal so fast. Pregnant ladies, have safe and excellent pregnancies! New moms, don't be scared, you're doing great, although it seems hard! Moms with many kids, stay as cool as you are, cause I can't imagine having so much energy and dedication, true superwomen! I want people to be healthy, happy, positive. Let us all just experience the happiness we all so want and deserve.

Let's make 2020 our year. Such a beautiful looking year. Looks so promising and kind of futuristic.

❤️